random thoughts | 2 months into 2015

I’ve been spending almost every spare writing minute working on my book. It’s coming along. My goal is 4k words/ week, but I’m usually hitting 3k. I’m currently sitting at 63,906 words total (first draft). The first draft is going to be a bit long, I can already tell — I would say that plot-wise, I’m maybe mid-way through. Word-count wise, I should be in the third act, nearing the wrap-up. I want it to be a 70k word-length book, 80k max — appropriate for YA. So I know the first draft will need to be heavily edited down.

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Kidling turned 13 this month. I should probably start calling him Kiddo in the blog, because he’s definitely not my baby boy anymore. He’s growing into quite a mature and thoughtful young man. I’m really proud of him, and I feel so lucky to have such a great kid.

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Lately I’ve been missing my mom. I wonder what she would think of my life. I bet she’d be super proud of Kiddo. I wonder if my parents would still live nearby if mom hadn’t died. I wonder if Jonathan and I would still talk. I wonder if Jonathan still would have made the mistake of marrying Ronelle. I always felt like he married her partly out of grief, in a weird backlash against mom’s death. Maybe just because he introduced Ronelle to the family the same week mom killed herself, so the two events are inextricably linked in my head. Mom dead/ Jonathan introduces first girlfriend. It’s probably just correlation. I feel like mom would have seen through Ronelle, though, and would have stopped Jonathan from making that particular mistake. Mom was a perceptive lady. And if Jonathan hadn’t married Ronelle, would he still be on speaking terms with the other family members? Was it Ronelle that made him hate us all so much, or was mom just the glue that held our family together, and without mom Jonathan went looking for a new family?

I suppose it’s better that he was with her for however long or little — Jayden is worth putting up with all the Ronelle’s in the world. I miss that kid. I miss my brother. I hope they’re both doing okay. I hope my brother moves back to town soon and takes his house and kid back. I know Ronelle has poisoned the well there and my brother is avoiding any relationship with me at her behest, but that doesn’t mean I wish them ill. I worry about my nephew a lot. Poor kid, surrounded by druggies and alcoholics with his dad gone half the time. At least mom doesn’t have to watch that misery play out.

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I’m thinking about applying to be a paraeducator. Apparently one does not need a Masters in Teaching, just a BA (or AA, depending on the position). I could fit it around my writing schedule and Kiddo’s school schedule, it would be a way to keep my resume update, and it would be some income to sock into savings.