american bacon

I’m beginning to doubt I’m a proper American. I saw an advertisement for that Maple Bacon Sundae they’re selling at Denny’s the other day. Today I found a recipe for candied, salted bacon. Last week, I stumbled on something called “deep fried bacon.” There’s bacon salt and baconnaise and bacon milk and bacon cocktails. WTF?!?

I mean, I like bacon. Well enough. It’s good on sandwiches. It’s okay with breakfast . . . sausage is better, but you know. Take what you get. But wtf is up with this bacon craze? Is this the American marmite? Is this really where we’re going to go? What, did the hamburger get too crazy healthy, so we’re going to be eating bacon burgers with baconnaise on bacon buns, and wash it all down with some bacon milk?